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Saturday, 10 April 2010


Writers are in abundance these days we are surrounded by them, each has their own unique style thats what makes it a pleasure to visit different blogs, Today friends let me introduce you to a friend, who is on twitter , thats how we met, and we have shared lots of stuff in that time, Mary has her own blog called "PATHS TO CARE" which I urge everyone to visit as it is brilliant.



Founder Care Pathways, author Paths to Care, as seen on Ellen



If Consistency is the key how can everyday be different?
Consistency—the absence of contradictions—has sometimes been called the hallmark of ethics. Ethics is supposed to provide us with a guide for moral living, and to do so it must be rational, and to be rational it must be free of contradictions. I pose the question to you, how can we as humans be consistent when we are so full of contradictions?

If I told you to “Open the window but don’t open the window,” you would be at loss as to what to do; the command is contradictory and thus irrational. In the same way, if our principles and practices lack consistency, we, as rational people, will find ourselves at a loss as to what we ought to do and divided about how we ought to live. We send out mixed messages to our friends, co-workers, family and especially in our relationships multiple times a day and do not even realize we are doing it sometimes.
We might hold consistent moral standards and apply them in consistent ways, but we may fail to be consistent in who we are as individuals. We often use the word “integrity” to refer to people who act in ways that are consistent with their beliefs. Here consistency means that a person’s actions are in harmony with his or her inner values.
Contradictions in people’s minds and actions have been expressed with brilliant accuracy and vividness in the work of many great artists. The most notable example is, perhaps, Shakespeare, who portrayed man’s inner world with such depth of the insight into all the contradictory passions that afflict the soul, the clash of motives, the conflict of emotions, the rivalries between individuals, the critical states of will and mind, the contesting urges of good and evil, the noble and the ignoble, the tragic and the comic. With great skill he traces the development of character right up to the point of its conversion into its own opposite and the contradictions between his characters.

Contradictions may be found in nature, society and human thinking literally at every step. The whole history of human culture, of scientific knowledge involves a struggle between consistency and contradictions. We tell our children to do something then we contradict what we have just said by doing something different. We may say no you cannot go out on Friday night, you missed two days of school this week and then turn around and allow the child to go after they have worn you down with begging and pleading. This is a contradiction to what you as a parent had originally said.
In a relationship we may send the message that we are interested in a person and then when that person calls you to ask you out for dinner, you make excuses and end up setting home alone on a Saturday night bemoaning your plight. This is the conflicted side of what you desire. This is common among baby boomers. I have seen many patients in my practice who will verbalize their inner most feelings and then their actions will speak contrary to what they have stated.

Why? Usually a person’s actions are contrary to what they are saying is fear based. Fears of failure, not being respected, and loved and so comes in the duality of what we may want, to what we get, based on our behaviors. Acting in a way that is not consistent to what is being said.
This brings me back to the question posed in the beginning: If Consistency is the key how can everyday be different? Every day is different, accept it. Every situation is different, accept it. Try to match your words to your actions as much as you can. Do not tell someone you will do something that you really do not wish to do. See life as an ever changing Kaleidoscope of many hues and colors that when turning in different directions present a different picture. As humans we all have days when what we say matches to the way we live, knowing that every day is different may help you understand that based upon what you are feeling both in body and mind your words may not match your actions. This is okay; this is part of being human and duality. To be human is to naturally embody duality with or without conscious or unconscious intent. Humans can create or destroy through both decision and indecision.
In understanding individual thoughts and feelings humans seek to explain that to others in an effort to rationalize or justify themselves for thinking and feeling a particular way for a valid reason, when in fact no reason, validation, or justification is warranted beyond the self’s knowledge of itself. My point being here in this post is to accept all of who you are knowing that you are doing the best you can with the tools you have at the time. Blessings to all.



♥ Kathy said...

How neat..I'll have to visit her soon :)

Ji said...

Glad that you find someone new to communicate!

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